relief

Oh, George W. Bush. I have defended you for a number of things through the years. And trust me, the opportunities to do that come up more often than you'd like to know. But, please know that your "No Child Left Behind" legislation has taken a lot of the fun away from teaching. I completely understand the need for teacher accountability. When I think of my 7th grade Texas History teacher, Coach Hodgson, I get fired up. The man would literally prop his legs up on his desk and read the sports page everyday while we just sat there. Now, he would occasionally turn the VCR on and show us various movies on the Alamo. And let's not forget that month we spent watching "Lonesome Dove" and "Dirty Dancing" (was that story set in Texas????). But I digress....

While I think that teachers need a standard to ascribe to, I don't like that everything within the school year revolves around the TAKS test. I literally had nightmares this year about it. Would my kids be retained because they didn't pass? Would I get my teaching certificate revoked because of a testing 'irregularity'? Would I read the standardized directions incorrectly and mess the kids up all together? Oy! So much sleep was lost.

Well, I am happy to inform you that today I learned all but 4 of my 66 math kiddos passed the TAKS. Not too shabby. After what will go down as one of my worst years as a teacher for all sorts of reasons, I feel vindicated that the majority of my students learned enough math to satisfy the state of Texas. It was the result of hard work, early morning tutorials, and a lot of prayer.

I still hate NCLB, but I will bask in these newly acquired results for a little while longer.

Oh happy day

Today was a really strange day. When I got to school, I was greeted at the door by two teachers who were letting people in. Apparently the keyless entry wasn't working. And, the lights were all out in the school due to a tornado the previous night. The shop teacher told me that we were without power and if it wasn't up and running soon, school would be canceled. Well, a few minutes later, we got word that school had in fact been canceled and the kids were being sent home. This is truly the first time I have ever heard of something like this happening. It was like a snow day...but ten times better because we don't have to make it up!!!
So, at around 10, we go to go home. I had a lot of ideas in my head about how I wanted to spend the day, but I ended up just going to lunch at Snuffer's with my dad and then taking a nice nap. I ended the afternoon with the Kickboxing/sculpt class at the gym (aka "one hour of torture") and then met my friends Hillary and Melissa at Anamia's for a little dinner and catch up time. What a delightful day. Thank you Lord for the much needed break!

when it rains...

...it pours.
Today, I hated that this old adage is true. And tonight, I am uncertain of so many things that I thought had already fallen into place. School is honestly such a stressful place to be right now. Everyday, I feel a huge weight on my shoulders because of TAKS, parents, apathetic kids, and I just feel like I can't do anything right. My spirit is crushed and my heart is hurting. For a while now, I have toyed with the idea of leaving education. It's been six years and maybe it's time for a break. I feel like I need to leave before I become too jaded and pessimistic like so many veteran teachers I have encountered through the years. The problem is, I just don't know what else I could do. Am I teachable? Yes. I love to learn new things and am like a little sponge when it comes to the unknown. But I am not sure who is willing to teach me something new. I am not sure what transferable skills I have. I don't have a clue as where to begin.

After a meltdown today, I pleaded with the Lord to show me what I need to do next. Maybe I don't get to leave teaching for another year or two, but I need an exit strategy. I have no idea what any of this will look like, but I am trying so hard to trust in the Lord and to learn what it truly means to wait on Him.

And I am open to any career suggestions and ideas if you've got some (all two of you out there)!!!