My homegroup at church is studying a book on women’s temptations. Some of them have been pretty obvious, i.e. sex, food/body issues, materialism, etc. This week’s dealt with a topic that I would have never thought of as a temptation, however, it is something that I struggle with quite a bit: Caring what people think.
We have been taught for most of our lives to be compliant, agreeable and to not ‘rock the boat’. Whether it is a reflection of our own insecurity or our desire to be validated, many of us suffer from what Oprah calls “the disease to please”. Now, I don’t usually like Oprah—I think she’s the anti-Christ, but that’s a whole different blog topic--ha!
However, when I think of my own life, it seems like most of the time I would rather shrink back and fade into the background rather than create conflict. I will bend over backwards to appease someone, not because I have this amazing servant’s heart, but rather I’m afraid of what they will think. I will avoid certain places or events out of fear of running into someone who does not like me. In the past, this has led to relationships with friends that left me resentful and in a sense, bound up. It is certainly impossible to live in freedom if our lives are dictated by other’s opinions of us.
Conflict is a part of life. If you think about most of the people that God has used to accomplish His work, they have not done so without opposition. There are certainly people who cause strife and are antagonistic, and that’s not what I’m advocating. But, I wonder if we have any real influence if we are never causing a difference of opinion. My dad used to quote an old saying that said, “You’ll know the success of a man by the number of his enemies.”
The key to all of this is to continuously be led by the Holy Spirit when we are dealing with people. That is easier said than done and it’s something that I’m working on. There has to be a balance between standing up for truth without being rebellious, unsubmissive, judgmental or prideful. We are called by Christ to put others first but allowing others to control the decisions you make based on the fear of their reaction is not how God is most glorified in our lives.
4 comments:
Good post. Not that you care what I think about it or anything... :-)
That last comment was from Glenn. I was worried what you might think if I didn't clarify.
Well said, my friend, well said!
Such truth! I agree about Oprah, too. I like her sometimes, but ultimately think she is the anti-christ.
Love you girl!
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