twenty-nine

Wow. 29 years.

3 days into it and I don't know what to think.

My first thought is that 30 is just around the corner.

Everyone keeps telling me that "30 is the new 25" or something like that.
I am not sure.

To me, I feel like I only have 361 days left to mark off a list of things off a 'list' that I have made in my head for the past 10 years or so.

But, so many of those things are out of my control.

Marriage, kids, etc.

Sometimes it seems like I have been running in a marathon but am barely moving and about to just join the spectators on the sidelines.

Sometimes I think it's not that big of a deal.

It's not a race.

I am not losing.

Maybe I am just running in a different race.

It's not inferior.

God does not love me any less.

Or anymore.

I wish I could cling to that truth at all times.

Comparisons aren't good.

But it's a hard habit to break.

So I am deciding that 29 is going to be great.

Perhaps not the 'great' I've had in my mind for the past decade.

But my 29 is not a Plan B.

Thank you Jesus for 29 years.

And for a family that loves me.

And for friends who accept the real me.

For my house.

My job.

Little sixth grade lives to influence daily.

And for holding me even when I can't feel your arms wrapped around me.

Here's to 29...